Published March 14th, 2024 in My Journey

The question that kept torturing my mind was 'What did this want to tell me or teach me?'. I wondered how to get an answer. Then someone recommended to me, to fall asleep with this question in my mind. She said: One day you will wake up with the answer(s)'. 

How would I know the answer?

So that is what I did. Every night I went to bed asking myself this question and falling asleep with it. Wondering each morning how I could know when I got an answer. How would I know of feel it? 

Then one morning I woke up and I felt that something had changed. I felt so much love for my parents, it really surprised me. The funny thing is that day my parents would go home again. The were with us to help us in these crazy times. Normally this is not a big thing, but we moved a few years ago to Switzerland. When my parents are going home, the are going to the Netherlands. So going away ment not seeing each other for many weeks maybe months.

When I was growing up we never said 'I love you' to each other. My parents never said it to me and for me the same thing was true. It wasn't normal in our household to say 'I love you'. There was a mutual understanding that the love was there and did/'t needed to be said. 

That morning I felt so much love, I needed to express it. So I decided to tell my parents that I love them. And I did! As I was hugging them when we were saying goodbye, I told them 'I love you'. 

The power of love

What happened afterwords, was beyond expectation. I went into the garden and let my feeling take over. I cried for like 30 minutes. My kids came into the garden and saw me crying. They asked:  'What is the matter?'. Before I knew it I said 'I just miss my mommy and daddy so much.'. I felt like a kid again who needed her mommy and I was happy to feel this way.

A door reopened

Since that morning, something has changed. Or maybe I could say something that I had closed in my youth got reopened. 

Nowadays when I say goodbye to my parents we say 'I love you'. Although you know they love you, the power of hearing those words is enormous. The first time I said it to my mom, she started crying and said: 'you know we love you too'. 

Find out what gives you meaning in life, by reading my book and get inspired by my story. 

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