Published June 3th, 2024 in My Journey

About four weeks ago it was that time again. My third check-up appointment in the hospital. My feelings were mixed, because it is scary to go through this but in the end I really like the confirmation that everything is good. It always is a confrontation, but the only way out is through. That is something I say a lot to myself: 'The only way out is through'.

So let's go through

On a Wednesday morning I drove to the hospital. I know my way around there after so much visits the last year. The floor I needed to be was the 5th. On this floor I find my way to the nuclear medicine. I let them know I am there and take a seat in the waiting area. I take my e-reader and start reading untill it is my moment.

A doctor calls me in, not the one I expected. This one I haven't seen before, but since I will be here for check-ups for the rest of my life it is a good thing that I get to know all the doctors. So I walked with him to the room I am familiair with. It is the same room where I got diagnosed. 

Back to this check-up, first we talked about how I am doing and if there are any side effects of the medication I'm taking. I will tell you, I am doing a lot better! I still feel that there is more to win, but I am really happy where I am now.
Then on to the ultrasound. The greatest challenge is not to panic when they stop the ultrasound and meassure something. For somehow I managed to keep having faith. At the end he just says, 'super!'. I guess I passed the ultrasound. 

Then he goes on and that really surprised me: 'Everything looks fine and we will see each other again in 6 months.'. I was shocked, this was only my third check-up and only the first that was after 3 months (before that it was 6 weeks). He was surprised as well that I asked if I could come sooner. He told me most patient want to stay away as long as possible. Well not me, I see you in 3 months! 

The waiting

It is strange, I can tell you, talking about the next check-up when the one you are in isn't finished yet. The most important part was still to come. The waiting on the blood results. This is the most annoying part if I may say, because of this waiting period. This can differ between 2-5 days, I know from experience. Fortunately he told me he would call on friday. That's a relief, I know exactly when he will call. 

Well, when it was friday I realized how long a day can be. I expected a call between 9 - 9.30 o'clock, but after 10 o'clock I still hadn't heard anything. All day I took my phone wherever I would go, also the bathroom, and still checked it like every half hour. Time went by very slowly, when it was 16 o'clock I decided to call myself. Since it was friday, if they forgot to call I would have to wait the entire weekend. A few minutes after my call the doctor returned my call, and there was the most important sentence: 'everything looks good, the tumormarker isn't traceable'. 

After coming to life again, there was too much to do to even think about celebrating the good news. Live just goes on. Now I'm writing this I ask myself, do I want to celebrate each time I hear that I'm cancerfree? I think I want to celebrate life each day! 

Cheers

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